Kobina's Shrine

The irony of Ghanaianisms

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  1. You know life is sometimes confusing as a Ghanaian when you see some married couples hiding their rings while unmarried people wear rings. Life in Ghana indeed is a ring affair!
  1. Not only snakes shed off their skins. Some of our women (and men) do, too. They were dark-skinned in 2015. Just some few days into 2016, they are growing fairer. Life in Ghana is just not fair because everyone wants to be fair!
  1. Isn’t it ironic how young couples spend so much money on a wedding and yet have nothing to start the marriage with? They want to wed now… and marry later!
  1. We live to impress, thus, live depressed. We attain numerous degrees just to boast of titles when we can’t fix ‘simple’ challenges around us regardless of all these supposed years of learning. What a sophisticatedly depressed people we are!
  1. We go through all sorts of therapies to lose weight… forgetting that the only tried-and-tested, cheapest therapy to lose weight is to marry a bad spouse!
  1. Most of us use smart phones yet aren’t any smarter. Our politicians almost always outsmart us!
  1. We curse white folks for being racial. Interestingly however, we look down on our own because of their ethnic belonging. Different shades of racism!
  1. We return from UK after only a month’s visit with an acquired accent like that of the Queen. Yet, no one speaks like Bruce Lee when they return to Ghana after spending ages in China. Na God win!
  1. We can’t monitor anything in this country…. not even how much it costs to brand a bus… yet we beat our chest that we can monitor hardcore Guantanamo inmates. Chai!
  1. We are called Ghanaians maybe only because we were born here. Many other things give us out as non-Ghanaians. Our rice is from Vietnam. Our tomatoes are from wherever. Our parliamentary chairs are from China. Our accent depends on where we have recently travelled to!
  1. We value the US visa more than our university certificates. We don’t mind going to university to be awarded visas instead of certificates after four years!
  1. Our politicians promise us Heaven on Earth during elections. After elections, they give us Earth in Heaven yet… we will still die for them!
  1. We curse politicians for mismanaging our funds though we, as citizens, mismanage public property. Two bad stewards of the same kind. We forget bad citizens eventually become bad politicians!
  1. We have more churches yet less development. We depend on hope more than reality. Tell you what, we are more spiritual than God!
  1. Our politicians come chasing us for power every four years… and we go chasing after them for power (electricity) in the next four years!

This is Ghana. Welcome!

By: Kobina Ansah

The writer is the Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd), an Accra-based writing company.

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